Sunday, November 27, 2011

Proper end. Right Direction.

College degree can now be checked off the list.  Before I begin obsessing over the slew of things to accomplish now that I finished my post-secondary education, I am going to take a second and embrace this moment.  Yes, celebrating life’s accomplishments is important.  And this is a big one.  But, for me, the celebration encompasses more than getting a degree.  It’s about a proper ending.

My first attempt at completing my post-secondary education was messy and “happened” to me.  It was typical to any confused person in their early 20’s possessing no grasp of how the world works or how one’s actions influence the workings of the world.  Of course, I didn’t complete the degree.  

And looking back, really, I do not recall many, if any, successfully executed endings to, well, anything. 

I never broke up with a boyfriend by saying to him, “I want to break-up.”  I would leave my journal out, hope my boyfriend would read, “I can’t stand him,” and get the message.  Or, I would stop answering calls.  Or, in junior high, I would send a friend to dispatch communication scribbled on a torn piece of notebook paper.   

Whether it was a relationship or pursuit of a degree, what was certain was that the end brought sadness, loss and the stress of embarking upon something new and unfamiliar.

But I have learned during my 42 years of walking on this great planet that once success is experienced, or the fear is conquered, the fear ceases to exist.
Now, armed that elusive proper ending, which has come in the form of a college degree, I know that endings also brings joy, exhilaration, excitement and fire for embarking upon something new and courage to face the unfamiliar.

What’s next?

Let’s reflect.

I turned in assignments for my last class on Saturday at 12:35 a.m.  That afternoon and evening, I researched and applied for jobs.  I made note of grad school and technical school options.  

Today I caught up with my oldest to help her with some study and note-taking strategies.  I researched such teen issues as dating, online behavior, and brain development . . . went over my finances to figure out how Santa will acquire gifts . . . made a plan to get the house cleaned-up . . .

I am looking forward to incorporating exercise back into my day, journaling, reading for pleasure, and finishing up some projects around here . . . dogs could use a consistent daily routine. . . fade out.

. . lights up. . . new beginning in the making. . .

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